5 Reasons You are UNHAPPY
I know this year has been hard. I know the present is foggy and disruptive. And I know that the uncertainty of what the future will bring is even more difficult. These are just a few examples of why you feel so unhappy right now. But there are so many more.
According to Jay Shetty, ‘Happiness comes when we are learning, progressing, and achieving.’ These are three reasons why you might be unhappy, and I want to focus on the top 5 and HOW to become happier in the moment.
The first reason you are unhappy is from emotions rooted in the past. These emotions are like fossils that make an imprint on your memory and when the memory arises, it also brings with it the emotion associated with it. And the emotional trigger does not always have to be a negative one. It can be a positive emotion as well. But you might be wondering, a positive emotion is good. But now always. If that positive emotional memory is not being re-created in the present moment, there is a void=unhappiness. I am experiencing this right now and I know so many are as well. This might be your first holiday alone, after losing a loved one, or without many of the positive traditions from your past. This result is a desire that is not being met.
The second reason you are unhappy is from having a void filled with something that is unusual or different. This holiday season might be without large gatherings, parties, or family. Therefore, it is filled with something different that you don’t have emotional associations with yet. This feels odd, uncomfortable, and foreign. Therefore, the present moment does not have a sense of comfort. You might be feeling lonely, stuffing your void and desire with short term fleeting happiness such as food, candy, sugar, or alcohol. Unfortunately, these do not fill up the level of happiness for long term sustained well-being which you are searching and yearning for right now.
The third reason you are unhappy is not having control of the future. Knowing that the next holiday might be spent alone or differently as well. Still missing a loved one from the past that you know will not be there in the future. It hurts. There is a void. And the uncertainty of the unknown brings about fear, loneliness, and maybe even anger, shame, disappointment, or guilt. All these are negatively charged emotions. Why didn’t they teach us in school the most important aspect of health and wellness, managing and understanding emotions?
Before a mental (or physical) illness manifests, one can prevent years of destructive behaviors if you can model interventions around what influences happiness, rather than what depletes it. This is exactly what I do with the Pillars of Positivity Framework in my membership POD and in my high impact 1–1 coaching sessions based on Positive Psychology research and theories.
Before negatively manifesting, you can positively manifest by changing your mindset which does not require years of intensive therapy.
Want to learn how and why this is SO IMPORTANT for you to flourish in your health, wealth, and relationships moving forward?
Do you want this to be DAY one or ONE day? Ask and you shall receive help.
You are never truly alone.
The last 2 reasons you are unhappy is from one of the two: eudaimonism and hedonic happiness.
Eudaimonism, which predates Aristotle himself, in a modern context, translates to living life to its fullest while utilizing one’s full potential and staying true to their inner self. As you apply these theories to current day thinking, they are referred to as one’s virtues or signature strengths. You might be questioning your own core virtues and strengths. Underestimating your potential because someone long ago told you something that undermined your true capability to make a difference only because of his/her own limiting beliefs around their own potential.
It is tough to stay true to your inner self. And inner guidance from all the noise and distractions in the world. Comparing yourself to other highly successful influencers or mentors getting amazing results and accomplishments in life and you haven’t yet achieved that one goal you set out for. Or maybe you have achieved and maintained the accomplishments, but you still feel empty. I know that I have fallen victim to both. And that is exactly why I am called to help you. Because I know exactly how it feels.
And the last reason you are unhappy is the theory of hedonic happiness. Where we are taught in the modern world that happiness comes from instant pleasure and buying ‘Things’. Our external world. It is defined as seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. What are you doing to seek pleasure when so many pleasurable activities have been canceled? What are you doing to avoid pain? Maybe not dealing with the emotions in the moment at all. Short-term fleeting happiness will never take us to a place of long-term sustained peace, health, and well-being. It just won’t.
And these are just the main reasons you are unhappy in the moment.
There is so much that has changed this year and your mind, body, and spirit are doing their best to recalibrate and keep up.
That is why for small business Saturday I want to extend my services to you because the idea of happiness, health, and well-being look different today than they had in the past. You might be lonely and dealing with a triad of emotions that does not call for therapy but calls for compassion, empathy, hope, faith, and optimism. What I refer to as ‘soul care’ or having FAITH in your purpose and positive potential. And that is exactly my style of coaching. Nurturing your strengths, core virtues, and emotions in the present. Embrace them. Honor them. And Let Go and allow the future to bring you anything and everything that universal abundance has in store.
Rebuilding your happiness with the foundational Pillars to Positivity Framework and the 5-steps to manifesting your future is possible.
Happiness begins now. With one choice. Choose wisely.
